Thursday, September 13, 2012

Embrace the Camera: Kisses from Little Mama

I'm not going to lie, I haven't LOVED every stage of development of Little Mama. Don't get me wrong, the moment I laid eyes on her it was love at first sight. But when she was just a little pea laying in her swaddle blanket I couldn't help but feel a sense of urgency for the time when she would look at me and smile, or give me a kiss, or tell me she loved me.
I guess maybe I'm pretty selfish, but I really struggled through the days when all she'd do is sleep, eat and poop. I was pretty adamant about nursing, and good thing I did because it was an amazing way to bond with Little Mama that eased the struggle I felt in those first few months.

I think it has to do with her being my first, and me being so completely oblivious about what to expect. I didn't suffer baby blues, but it was hard pouring so much of myself and not getting much in return. I think that's pretty indicative of what it is like to be a mother (listen to me, giving these little pearls of wisdom about motherhood, haha, because I know so much). But seriously, motherhood, such a selfless act. You give, give and give and get so little in return. Makes me think of how Creator loves us. This love that gives and gives, and gets so little in return. My only hope is that as I continue to inhabit this earth I would show Creator that I see all the goodness that has been poured over me. I want to show our maker that I am thankful. That I am thankful for all the smiles and kisses from Little Mama.