Tiny Mr. M.

I've been staying home mostly full-time with Little Mama since she was born. I've loved almost every minute of it, but it has been very challenging. Currently I'm working a part-time gig at a community agency that provides early childhood education. I work in the administrative office as an Admin. Assistant. Its been fun to employ my mind in things that don't have to do with a tiny tot all the time, but I can't help feeling a longing to be with Little Mama. I can't imagine working full time, and I've always known that this part-time job was a temporary arrangement. The goal is for me to be a full-time stay at home mama, and it appears that come the end of this month my wishes will come true. 

For one, Little Mama needs her mami to be home with her and the second reason: This Mama is expecting a Tiny Mr. M.! Due date is somewhere around the third week of September. 

Our plan was for me to stop working at the end of June, and enjoy the last two months of being a parent to only one child before the second graces us with his presence. But our agency gave me an unexpected surprise when it was announced that there would be a major restructuring and they would be shutting down our office. Bam! Instant stay at home status :) Love it! 

Don't get me wrong, it's going to be a bit of a stretch financially, but I'm confident that everything will work out well. If nothing, being financially stretched will help us be better spenders! (at least that's my hope, people! But I have been wrong in the past so we will see how it all pans out).

So this Tiny Mr. M. is gonna join us in Septemeber, and we couldn't be more excited. 

I've been taking a few weekly belly update photos, enjoy:

I am beyond the moon that I get to be a mama to both a girl and a boy. I've already been looking for creative little boy outfit inspiration. The last thing I want my little mr. to be wearing is t-shirt and sweats all the time. Its going to be hard to resist some of the cuteness I've found lately.

So a new adventure begins! Oh, its gonna be a fun one :)

Little Mama turns 2!

A few weeks ago Little Mama turned 2! As we came closer to the day, I proclaimed to anyone who would listen that I was so over planning a big party for a little munchkin who would have no personal memory of the event. But if you know me even a little bit, you know that I LOVE to plan things, especially parties. Which I have to admit is kind of strange, being that I'm a total introvert and very much dislike large groups of people where I have to mingle and pretend I'm not completely awkward. 
So here we were a few months near the big day and I was knee deep in rainbow colored pompom garlands, pin wheel decorations and my personal favorite a look-alike doll and outfit for Little Mama. Halfway through the preparations I wondered why many mothers do this when their kids won't even remember. Its silly really, but I'm not going to lie its so much fun for me. So I guess that's my answer, its because I enjoy the process :)

The big day came and we were pretty much ready; the sun was shining and the grill was ready. There is no party that can happen at our house without the grill and a good Carne Asada.

 

Oh, and let me not forget the bounce house. I told Mr. M. he was in charge of the activities for the kids and he quickly announced he was going to rent a bounce house. 

I was a bit mortified, as I've frequently joked about how silly they are, but decided I'd just go along with it. The kids loved it of course, and I didn't mind the whole neighborhood thinking there was a carnival happening at our house. 

 It was a very fun day, despite the 25mph wind gusts; a day of spending time with friends, enjoying delicious food, partaking in two cakes, and lots of snacks. 

The kids bounced till their hearts were content (or at least most did. Little Mama was so sad when they took the bouncy house away, she almost cried. After all the kids left, she even got both her grandpas and Mr. M. to bounce with her for an hour or so. Let me tell you, the kid slept through the night for the first time in a while, and I'm sure the men did too. 

I'm not going to deny that throwing this kind of party makes me feel like we are spoiling Little Mama a bit. It makes me think that she will grow up to be a little brat who thinks she is entitled to whatever her little heart desires. This may or may not happen, but not because of a party once a year. Its about the lifestyle we live.

I've been thinking of all the ways I can model the intanbigles I want her to grow up storing in her heart. Like having the ability to see her privilege and being called to a life of giving (love and all the material things she has accessable to her). We try throughout the year to show her ways to love others and are starting traditions during important dates (like Christmas and Easter) to help her and ourselves look beyond our own wants to see the real needs of others. I think the culture of self-indulgence that is so prevalent in our society (and in humanity to be perfectly honest) scares me more than I can describe, but at the same time I know that living in fear of Little Mama becoming someone completely selfish is not healthy. 

      

I know that if we all look to our Creator for a deeper purpose and sense of belonging we will all grow up to be a positive part of our world. I have hope for this little person because I know our Maker will always surround her with Truth and Love.

Happy Birthday Little Mama! You are our most incredible gift, and we love you to the end of time. You are a determined and adventurous little person, who I know will grow up to be incredible, caring, and a sunbeam to this world. Because to tell you the truth, you are already all of these things and more.

Oh, thank you!

I found this on a blog I often read:

 Under The Sycamore  

It was a hard day for me today! While I am immensely thankful for a day where i can be intentional about celebrating this amazing thing Jesus did, I still felt overwhelmed by the commercialization of Easter and how many buy into it. I'm not trying to be overly religious or judgmental, but my heart aches to see people yearn for healthy lives, healthy relationships and a realization that what our souls need most is a connection to our Maker. Everything else is secondary, especially bunnies, chocolate and eggs. 

We are running around filling a void in our lives with romantic relationships, material things, drugs and alcohol, exercise, dieting only to come up short or even empty handed. Chained to something we think is gonna make us happy, but in the end what we need is to accept we need our Maker. We need that relationship. I am certainly glad Jesus made a way for me to quit trying to find my worth in all these things that the world has to offer. I'm here in this planet for hopefully a while longer, so I'm gonna give in to this hope I have in Jesus. This hope that tells me I don't have to settle for finding my worth in things that are temporary. Instead I'm gonna find hope in our Creator. 

Expectations: 2012, lets get real 2013!

I've been reading so many "Happy New Year" blog post, I think I have them coming out my ears. And because I'm a very goal oriented person I've LOVED to hear/read about what other's are hoping to accomplish in the new year. My personal hope was to soak it all in and spare you my own list, but here I am about to spill my inner most desires. 
But before we get there let me share with you 2012; it was a year of surprises, unexpected decisions, hardship, sorrow, and new beginnings. So there you go, in a nutshell that was my year. Ok, ok, since you're twisting my arm, I'll elaborate.  

The year began pretty much like any other year: on January 1! We spent the eve with our dear friends the Chung-Otterson, much like we have the last couple of years. Watching movies, eating yummy food and sharing a bit of what we hoped the year would hold. But in a few months our expectations of 2012 shifted in a dramatic way as we realized our priority was not to the rat race of making ends-meet but of having a richer family experience. And what I mean by that was we wanted to spend more time as a family and less time at work chained to the "man". So we packed up our things half way through the year and moved to a desolate town in Central WA. Friendships were tested, and only the lifers stood the test distance held. Mr. M. started looking for work in a slower paced environment and I got busy with the task of making home more cozy. 
After only one month of trying to settle we almost lost Mr. M's mother to an Aneurysm. The following two months seem a bit of a haze to tell you the truth. Isolation, loneliness and so much unknown. But in the midst of it all of this many dear friends and family rose to the challenge of being God's love to us, we grew the strength to help my in-laws navigate the hardship and find endurance for ourselves to keep on pushing forth. Mr. M. received his Bachelor's degree and we celebrated all the holidays surrounded by our family and a few friends. 

We even tried to make Tamales for our Christmas Eve dinner, which let me tell you, were a huge colossal fail! 

And the year ended with a three day celebration with our friends the Chung-Otterson.

So you ask, what are my goals for 2013? Well they are to expect less from others and more from God. That's right, my desire is to see the world a bit more through the eyes of our Maker and less through my own. Don't get me wrong, I'm still working on my 29 before 30 list, I still want to eat something green every day, exercise frequently and drink more water, but what I want most is to feed my soul. To earnestly seek after our Creator so that I may be a sunbeam to a hurting world. I'm starting by trying to connect with our Maker through as many ways as possible. By investing more time in other Jesus-followers, reading the Love story our Creator shared with humankind (aka the Bible), praying more, and being more available for those around me. My hope is that we'd stop making resolutions that last a week or two and instead embrace a lifestyle of healthy choices all year round.

Thanks for reading this very wordy installments and Happy New Year! 

Overcoming Adversity

Today I'm embracing the camera with the hubby, Mr. M. This photo is from a few summers ago, but its one of my faves of us. Along with these photos I love I'm gonna share with you an amazing story. Its a story whose main characters are the hubby and his Maker. 

I'm gonna start at the beginning when Mr. M. was born. It was a cold winter day, when resources were scarce but hopes were not. He was born to a family of immigrants, first generation to be born in the United States. His parents worked in agriculture, working when harvest was plentiful and saving for when it was not. They lacked health insurance, sick time, vacation days and all those things many of us take for granted. But they made do, and life was good. As Mr. M got older he could be found on many afternoons playing out in the orchards free from all the cares of the world. 

The harvest was bountiful and the valley was thriving, but it wouldn't always be so. 

We fast forward to when Mr. M is seven and now living in the city, on S. 7th St. He is one of the few spanish speaking children in his school, there is inequality and confusion about this group of people who come (mostly seasonally to the area) to harvest the crops. 

And this is how it went in the years that followed: Mr. M's mom and dad working long hours, and different shifts to make ends meet and be somewhat available for him and his brother. 

The crop began to decline, work was scarce and things were hard. 

Adversity came a knocking harder than ever before. 

His neighborhood became filled with poverty; parents often working swing or graveyard shifts and many youth who were hungry for attention and bored to death at home turned to drugs, gangs and violence. All searching for a sense of belonging. All searching to be "somebody".

All of this became Mr. M's reality, no more make-believe on sunny afternoons out in the orchards, but drugs, gangs and violence took their place instead. And so, many years passed and life didn't get any better. Many friends were lost along the way, and many were changed in irreversible ways. 

As Mr. M. reached rock bottom it seemed that nothing or no one could reach him. 

But when we least expect it, and when we think we have gotten too far from reach, that's when Creator pushes harder to grasp a hold of our hearts and speak truth into our lives. All the lies that had been feed to and believed by Mr. M. were shattered in a moment of Truth. Jesus came into his life and helped him understand that he was destined for greater things. Jesus told him: "follow me and I will show you that you are part of my BIG story. Your LITTLE story is part of my BIG story!". And it was then Mr. M. reached for the Truth and broke free of the chains of death. But not through his own strength rather through the love of our Maker. And finally Mr. M. understood how he was made in our Creator's image: with his charismatic personality and his love for people. He no longer needed to be in control, and to pursue status or power. The Love of Creator would bring a greater sense of self than any of these things ever would.

Its been more than seven years since then, and each day we see how our LITTLE stories are a part of God's BIG story. That story of love for His people.  

This month we are celebrating a piece of Mr. M.'s Little story! He graduated from Warner Pacific College with a Bachelor of Science in Human Development and will be receiving his diploma this weekend! We are so proud of him, and understand that this is all possible because of our Creator who has made Mr. M. in His image. Yes, in the image of the one who Loves us, and wants more for this hurting world. And that is what Mr. M. hopes to do, to go out into the world and use his degree to care and love those in need. Because Creator so loved him.   

Embrace the camera: M.W and J

A few days ago we went to the park and took some family pictures. We had a really good time, but towards the end of our little photo shoot I stood up from a sitting position too fast and aggravated an already strained lower back. I've been dealing with a lower back issue for about four months and decided that ignoring the problem might fix it. Wrong! The next few days were a combination of pain and self pity. I'm no good at taking help from others, its something I've struggled with my whole life. I've struggled with attitude of: if I want something done right then I have to do it myself. Wrong again! I know this attitude is like 100% contrary to Jesus, but I guess this is another reason why I need more of Him.

So I found myself laying on the couch trying to rest, but instead I began wallowing in pity. I started thinking that this back issue is just one of the many issues that have been making our lives so difficult. Four months ago my MIL suffered a ruptured aneurysm, and we almost lost her. You'd think that her miraculous and rather quick recovery would have helped me to be thankful, but instead I chose to focus on the negative side of things. I've chosen to focus on the negative circumstances surrounding us, and have failed to understand two things.

I was reading a blog just yesterday and it hit me, I've been focusing on the circumstances in our lives that I either can't change or that I think are unfair. There is nothing I can do about most of these circumstance, but there is something I can do about the attitude with which I face them. I think the quote from Martha Washington says it best: 

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. 

As much as I want to be in control and to do things myself so they get done "right" this only leads me to the couch to lay for a while feeling sorry for myself. I wish I could just turn on the switch of happy and cheerful but I know this is a process. A journey if you will. I don't think that what Martha meant when she said happy and cheerful was that you ignore the circumstance and act happy, but rather you accept the situation, see how you can persevere, and not let despair take over. You face those circumsance with full awareness of the joy that life is and how no situation is ever permanent. A journey that for me has Jesus in the center. I think that Jesus gives us the strength to get through the difficult times and even when things are really, really bad there is always a bit of joy if only our attitude doesn't blind us. 

So today I choose to face life with happiness and a cheery disposition even if things seem hard and unfair. Because I don't have to do things myself for them to turn out right.

Let's embrace the joy and happyness around us, and also the camera!

Family Pictures 2012

Since before Little Mama was born I've always known I wanted to do annual family photos. Since our finances don't allow for us to hire a professional I've had to get creative! 

This is us last year:

(photo by Cammie Toloui)

Here we are now:

As I mentioned, we had to get creative this year with our family pictures. I purchased a tripod and a remote (the remote ended up not being compatible with my camera so it went back), but the tripod was great. Running back and forth to press the timer button (add to that the timer only takes one photo at a time) made for a challenging time, but who cares? We had fun and got some good shots. 

Little Mama was very cooperative, most of the time!

Undoubtedly my favorite season for photos has to be fall. Its hard to beat all the beautiful colors and the mild weather!

Mr. M. always looking so handsome!

One place I've been particularly interested in taking photos at is the Yakima Electric Railway Museum. I don't know the history of this place, since its only open on Saturdays or something. We were driving by one saturday and we saw a trolly with passangers. Maybe one of these Saturdays we will go and tour the place. 

(all belly!)

We may not have been able to hire a professional but we definitely captured some amazing moments.