It's been seven weeks since we welcomed the Tiny Mr. into our family. It has been a whirl wind of a time for us, especially for me, as I get used to life at home with two littles.
Just last night I was telling the hubby that I don't really know what happened to October. I am almost certain someone erased it from the calendar. Ha! Someone is out to get me, I'm sure of it :)
All silliness aside, I have been doing ok with the whole transition. I think the lack of sleep and other "little" issues have made me kind of cranky, but all-in-all I think I have been getting used to life as a family of four in a rather healthy way.
Tiny Mr. M. is getting better at sleeping, he slept four hours last night! Which means I got about 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep! What a dream!
So now that I'm getting so much "more" sleep, I can think clearly, and am finally sharing my thoughts on this space again.
(On a side note, I think baby #2 has made me even more sarcastic! if that is possible).
So back to sharing, I was thinking going into baby #2 that there were so many things I would do differently from what I did with baby #1. I thought, I am going to enjoy the pregnancy and not complain so much about all the discomforts (because after all, this is such a miracle that not everyone gets to experience). I still complained, I still wanted it to be over so I would be able to breath again, eat without feeling like my lunch was sitting on my throat all day, and not be 40 lbs. from my pre-pre preggers weight (oh and so I could start loving on my little bundle too). I thought: once the baby is born, I won't take the first weeks so hard, I will try to remember that its just a short period of time, and the sleeplessness passes, and the uncertainty about EVERYTHING also passes. But NO, I still freaked out when he got jaundice, I still wished I could get more than 1.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I still wished he would smile at me and give me some love the way I wished with baby #1.
But now as I sit here at week #7, I realize that many things are very different. There is a certain pressure that I don't feel. I can't really put it into a tangible example, but things are very different. I'd like to think that maybe it's maturity, maybe its experience. But in all reality I think it's all that and some mercy from our Creator. I've heard a whisper in my ear: don't be so hard on yourself, it's ok to expect a lot (from yourself, others, and situations) but you are going to need a lot of grace. So I've been much more forgiving, I've cut myself and others more slack, and I've napped while they nap (sometimes). And all of this, and the occasional cup of coffee, has helped me enjoy the process.
Don't get me wrong, I've felt isolated, alone, and stressed. BUT, I've also felt sure of myself, hopeful about my parenting, and encouraged about the future.
Being a Mami to two Littles has been hard for me, but the truth is that I've found freedom in not pretending its always this amazing, glamorous experience.
"We are always this happy-go-lucky bunch over here. I'm always creating amazing experiences for my Littles, and in all the IG photos you see we are picture perfect".
No, we are a mess most of the time, I'm cranky and I yell at my 2 year old from time to time, but I also get down on the ground and do tummy time/play together.
Little Mama sometimes gets up all of a sudden and almost steps on her brother, and I have to be quick to grab her so she doesn't smash is head, but we continue to gather and be together. Most of the time we laugh, we learn and we grow.
All three of us together.