This post is gonna start out pretty ridiculous and kind of wordy, but I hope you keep on reading and make it to the end.
For the last four weeks our Tuesdays have been pretty routine, not very eventful. Today started out much the same way all the others did. Our wake up call, Yasmin, sounded off promptly at 6AM. Mr. M. graciously offered to prepare breakfast and I took Yasmin for pottytime, and after that was said and done we made our way to the kitchen to see what Mr. M. was cooking up.
As I walked into the kitchen things started getting interesting. There was a huge puddle of water by the fridge that Mr. M. hadn't notice and we began to investigate the root of the problem. We quickly realized the freezer temperature was no longer at 0 degrees F, but had climbed to 38. What? The ice dispenser was leaking and the contents of the freezer where thawing out. The temperature kept climbing.
We quickly pulled out the manual and tried to resolve the issue, but after nothing worked we called the manufacture and requested a house call before all our goods went bye-bye. They obliged and we continued our day...ok maybe it wasn't that easy. First I freaked out, I may have said a few cuss words and then I pleaded for Mr. M. not to make the drive to Portland for school today. Three hours away he'd be and I'd be left with spoiling food and a needy toddler, I couldn't possibly make it through the next 48 hours alone.
You might be thinking, wow this girl is quite the drama queen, and I'm sure there is truth in that. But my side of things is this: we got caught up living outside our means (a very prevalent issue in this country). Once we remembered that God (yes we are trying to be followers of Jesus) doesn't want us to live this way or share our devotion, we made the choice to sacrifice some comforts. I do not work outside the home so as to be more free to focus on caring for my family, meaning we only have one income and we still want to be able to pay off our debts plus help God's work and our extended family. A budget that doesn't always seem to balance out. In my own self-absorbed way I thought, well I've been giving up comforts left and right (we sold our 1400squarefoot home and moved to a 950squarefoot apartment only to have to move to an even smaller place) I should be able to have a little something. So that's were this lovely little fridge came into the picture. I told Mr. M., I will give up as much as we need, as long as we splurge on a fridge with an ice maker and ice dispenser. Its not asking for much, right? Well it might not be, but who am I to bargain with our Creator?
I started reading this little book called Not a Fan. that in one section asks the question: What disappoints or frustrates you the most? The answer to this might tell you where your heart really is. My answer is financial difficulties and when my very prized items (fridge) that I feel I deserve to have don't work the way they should. I'm supposed to be following Jesus and I'm worried about having a fridge with an ice maker? I guess I'm still holding on pretty tightly to my material things, thinking they might be able to bring me happiness or something. What a wake up call. Don't get me wrong, I know material things are mostly necessary, but if a person falls apart because they don't get to have those things they want or they're willing to compromise their values to obtain the things they desire then I think that's where it gets a bit tricky. Following Jesus doesn't come without a price, but the alternative is much harder to swallow. I've got to trust that Jesus is calling me to a life free of financial burdens or a rat race that has no end. I've got to trust that my life has a greater purpose than all the pretty shoes I could own or the great car I can drive.
I've got to trust that my life is better off in Jesus' hands.